3 more sleeps

Posted: January 22, 2013 in Thoughts, Truth

newblog3
As I type my mind goes forward to Friday night with much anticipation.
After close to 3 months I’ll actually get to see my husband.
In the flesh I mean.
Not on Skype.
Not just a voice on the other end of the phone.
Not just words in an email.
H.I.M
M.A.R.K
The whole enchilada. The real McCoy who I can hold, smell, feel.
Can you hear the excitement in my words?? Damned sure I can let me say!
As I’ve told myself more times than I can count since early November when I left Townsville, I know this was a conscious decision we made many months ago, but regardless of that fact, it’s not easy to live as we have been since I did leave.
I’m sure people are sick of hearing about it.
Next statement would be, I don’t really care. It’s the truth.
I dare anyone to make the decision we did and find it easy. I think most people would be surprised.
Try coming home to an empty house every single night, then cooking a decent meal for one person. Your motivation is hard to find and the temptation to stop and grab Chinese or Indian is hard to resist if for no other reason than it takes no thought.
Try waking in the middle of the night and reaching out for the warmth of a body that would ordinarily be there only to find a cold, empty place as opposed to the person you have spent 17 {good} years of your life with.
It sucks. Big time.
This is not the first occasion we’ve spent time apart to get where we want to be and last time it was 7 months.
All I can say to that is thank God it won’t be that long this time because this time around it’s a lot harder for some reason.
As I go to bed tonight my last thought will be than when I wake in the morning it will only be 2 sleeps until I can hold the man I miss every minute of every day and have done since I drove away from him early in November.
He resides in my heart and soul and will do until the last breath leaves my body.
The down side of him being here is it’s only for 3 days, but right now I would take 3 hours.

newblog2
There is currently an outcry here in Australia about a TV presenter who expressed an opinion on an incident where a breastfeeding mother was asked to move while feeding her baby at a public swimming pool.
All over Facebook and other social media sites there are people expressing their outrage and posting ridiculous pics directed at the presenter.
I won’t go into details about who did or didn’t say what because this isn’t just about that particular incident. It’s more general.
Or perhaps I should say it will be more general perchance my grammar upset someone and we have a public outcry???
Another would be when someone well known says in the press that they don’t support same sex marriage.
The outrage is beyond ridiculous.
The debate rages for days on end, insults are traded, examples of discrimination are dragged from the woodwork and it all gets rather tacky and nasty.
And God forbid we should call a black person black, or someone from China Chinese!
In this day and age it’s almost a capital offence and you risk being help up for public ridicule.
Whatever happened to being able to express an opinion without being attacked whether that attack is via social media or any other medium?
When did we lose the ability to tell someone that whilst we don’t agree with their opinion, we will defend to the death their right to express it freely and without fear of reprisal?
When did we lose the knack of being able to discuss without resorting to personal attacks?
I for one am sick of it.
Do I agree with same sex marriage?
Not really, but if legislation is passed then it’s passed. It won’t affect my life one way or the other, and I certainly would not deny them their right to express an opinion different to mine, or the right of that same person to do what the law allows them to do whether I like it or not.
Do I agree with women having their boobs out in public be it feeding a child or not?
Again, not really, but that’s not what breast feeding mothers do as a general rule, and their baby does have the right to be nourished.
I have 4 daughters who have children they breast fed {with one still currently doing so} and if anyone ever had a dig at them within my ear shot for breast feeding in public, I would verbally shred them in such a way as to make them fear for their life.
Truth!
Because someone else’s way or opinion is different to mine, it doesn’t make either one right or wrong.
It simply makes them different to the other.
I’ve personally been in the middle of a nasty family argument that came about because 2 people had different opinions and neither was particularly interested in hearing the other side because both felt so strongly about their own opinion.
It cost a father and daughter 2 years, a lot of heart ache, me a huge headache, and for what?
For nothing really because in the end noone actually won and the end result of these outraged reactions will be the same. Noone will win.
At what point is society going to wake up and realise that petty differences mean little in the big scheme of things?
Surely there are bigger problems to be concerned about?
Seemingly there are few who think so, however if someone should say here they think these issues are the most important in the world, I certainly won’t attack them because they dare to disagree with me.

Change in more ways than one

Posted: January 19, 2013 in Home, Life, Thoughts, Truth

Changee
Just for something different I’ve gone back to the free hosting provided by WP.
There are a few reasons. Technical difficulties, time to address said difficulties, limited, inefficient internet access for a little while to come and a lack of energy or inclination to do anything other than mindlessly waffle as I tend to do most of the time.
Given this is a perfect place to check all of the above boxes, here I sit for who knows how long.
This is not the only change in my life right now.
Some time ago, Burnie and I decided the time had come to relocate back to my home state.
I say mine, because it’s not his. He is from a different state but is happy to go wherever I want because he doesn’t care where we live, so long as we’re together.
The irony of that decision is that in order to relocate from what I still call paradise, it means we need to spend some time apart.
Back in early November I left the sunshine state and headed for the country town I see as home {admittedly it took me 4 days, but I got here!}
Since then it’s been lengthy phone calls, emails too numerous to count and what seems like endless days and nights apart.
We both know there is a time frame on how long this situation will last and know it’s not a long time in the big picture, and we also know that as with all things, this too shall pass.
The one thing I would ask is that it pass quicker because it’s not easy to spend an extended period of time apart from someone who has been beside you for the better part of 18 years.
The days aren’t so bad because I’m at work and busy, but the nights?
Good God, them seem interminable.
Cooking for one is not as easy as you would think, watching a good movie seems to lose something because there’s noone to OOHH!! and AAHH!! with, a queen size bed feels like you’re sleeping on an acre block when there’s nothing but empty space beside you, the so called sleeping hours feel like days when you’re awake 4 or 5 times a night because of the previous issue with the empty bed, and do not get me started on what Christmas was like!
The end result of all these things is someone who knows they’re atrocious company, tired, irritable and pretty much over it, all whilst acknowledging it’s a conscious decision they made and can do little about it because this is what needs to be done in order to be where they want.
Every single day is a challenge to not throw in the job you willingly accepted, and drive back to where you came from as quick as possible just so as you can wrap your arms around the person you love beyond reason.
Having crappy internet service doesn’t help either because regular Skype calls have been shelved until further notice.
There are up sides to our current situation, it’s not all doom and gloom.
I’m getting to know grandchildren I’ve had way too little time with in their short lives {and their parents}, and said family are all of 45 minutes away and more than happy to have me there as much as I want to be there which is wonderful.
The weather here is cooler so I have more energy to do normal things like make the bed, do the dishes and go shopping.
All of these are great things, but some of the shine is taken away when you don’t have anyone to share them with.
They tell me patience is a virtue.
Now if only I was a virtuous person there wouldn’t be a problem would there?
*sigh*
Can you say stop the world I want to get off???