Change in more ways than one

Posted: January 19, 2013 in Home, Life, Thoughts, Truth

Changee
Just for something different I’ve gone back to the free hosting provided by WP.
There are a few reasons. Technical difficulties, time to address said difficulties, limited, inefficient internet access for a little while to come and a lack of energy or inclination to do anything other than mindlessly waffle as I tend to do most of the time.
Given this is a perfect place to check all of the above boxes, here I sit for who knows how long.
This is not the only change in my life right now.
Some time ago, Burnie and I decided the time had come to relocate back to my home state.
I say mine, because it’s not his. He is from a different state but is happy to go wherever I want because he doesn’t care where we live, so long as we’re together.
The irony of that decision is that in order to relocate from what I still call paradise, it means we need to spend some time apart.
Back in early November I left the sunshine state and headed for the country town I see as home {admittedly it took me 4 days, but I got here!}
Since then it’s been lengthy phone calls, emails too numerous to count and what seems like endless days and nights apart.
We both know there is a time frame on how long this situation will last and know it’s not a long time in the big picture, and we also know that as with all things, this too shall pass.
The one thing I would ask is that it pass quicker because it’s not easy to spend an extended period of time apart from someone who has been beside you for the better part of 18 years.
The days aren’t so bad because I’m at work and busy, but the nights?
Good God, them seem interminable.
Cooking for one is not as easy as you would think, watching a good movie seems to lose something because there’s noone to OOHH!! and AAHH!! with, a queen size bed feels like you’re sleeping on an acre block when there’s nothing but empty space beside you, the so called sleeping hours feel like days when you’re awake 4 or 5 times a night because of the previous issue with the empty bed, and do not get me started on what Christmas was like!
The end result of all these things is someone who knows they’re atrocious company, tired, irritable and pretty much over it, all whilst acknowledging it’s a conscious decision they made and can do little about it because this is what needs to be done in order to be where they want.
Every single day is a challenge to not throw in the job you willingly accepted, and drive back to where you came from as quick as possible just so as you can wrap your arms around the person you love beyond reason.
Having crappy internet service doesn’t help either because regular Skype calls have been shelved until further notice.
There are up sides to our current situation, it’s not all doom and gloom.
I’m getting to know grandchildren I’ve had way too little time with in their short lives {and their parents}, and said family are all of 45 minutes away and more than happy to have me there as much as I want to be there which is wonderful.
The weather here is cooler so I have more energy to do normal things like make the bed, do the dishes and go shopping.
All of these are great things, but some of the shine is taken away when you don’t have anyone to share them with.
They tell me patience is a virtue.
Now if only I was a virtuous person there wouldn’t be a problem would there?
*sigh*
Can you say stop the world I want to get off???

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Comments
  1. Ugh ! I wrote a big comment and then lost it because I have no idea what I’m doing. But what I said was something like this.
    I am so happy that you are back ! Writing is a good thing. It helped Michael through a lot of the rough patches in his life. Plus this blogging thing is what brought us all together.
    Know that I am here 24/7 if you ever need to vent.
    Time is going by. It’s already more than halfway through January.February is short and then March is right around the corner. According to Hannah’s tweet this morning, there are only 268 more days until Sarah and Jon’s wedding.And that means you’ll be here with Mark !
    If the world were to stop ,the ocean water would splash everywhere. It would be a huge mess ~
    Hang in there, Mark will be there soon and he’ll be snoring up a storm !
    Sending you a big HUG ! Love, Pam

    Not too sure that I write as such. I see it as more of a dribble or waffle, but I do appreciate the sentiment!
    🙂
    I know it doesn’t seem like a long time till he’ll be here but when every single day seems a week long, the time stretches out to what seems an endless period of time.
    My current mood is so out of character for me that I’m struggling to lift it. Rarely does something get on top of me, but then as I get older I realise more and more what’s important in life and being with those you love most is top of the list. I’m not currently in that place is the thing.
    I tell myself every day that we’re one day closer and try not to think about the days remaining until we are.
    It’s the only way I can survive right now.
    Your crack about the ocean made me LOL!
    That’s quite the achievement for you with me in my current mood let me say!
    Moe

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